Spotting the Warning Signs

I vowed to myself, no matter what, that I would never again let things get as bad as they got in January. My biggest promise to myself was to truly listen to my gut instincts, my intuition, and to tune into my children so I could sense when things were off. If you have any experience with listening to your gut and intuition, it can be very difficult at first.

Over time, I have learned to spot when we (or me) are out of alignment, recognize the signs, not freak out, and make the necessary changes to remedy things. I think a key part here worth mentioning is to not identify, shame yourself, or feel guilt if you get out of alignment. This is normal, life fluctuates, you can never be sunshine and rainbows all the time. Take a second, analyze what is going on, and make changes to fix it.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ignore your gut instincts and intuition. This is how things get out of whack and add up to big issues (insert disease, divorce, depression and anxiety, and all sorts of issues). Now of course I am not saying those things will happen, just that I can say from experience that if you let these issues add up, over time it will boil over and something in your life will fall apart.

So how do you identify these signs and symptoms of things being out of alignment? Most likely, you already know somewhere deep down. It’s that feeling that something is off, not quite right. It could look like anxiety, not sleeping well, or getting a bad vibe. The trick is learning to identify it, stop and analyze, and change course.

Here are a few examples of how I know that I personally am out of alignment;

• quick to anger, moodiness, snapping at kids and spouse

• not eating well, drinking alcohol, retail therapy

• feeling completely drained and exhausted

• avoiding basic easy tasks like oil change, dropping off library books…

• not incorporating any movement into my day

• house is trashed, laundry piling up, dishes stacked, no cooked food

• skin breakouts, hives, rashes, itchiness

• going down thought spirals and telling myself stories that arn’’t true

• “see-saw ing'“ or “ping ponging” thoughts, swinging back and forth on how I feel about things

• considering big life changes without much discussion (moving, babies, career, etc)

When I feel myself doing a few of these things, I know I am out of alignment. I used to identify with this, question what was wrong with me, claim I had anger issues, and sometimes not emerge from my spiral for months at a time. Now, I simply give myself grace, call it what it is “Burnout , Overwhelm, or just being Off”, and get back to my tried and true methods that make me feel better.

A lot of times these feelings emerge simply because I am not doing enough that fills up my cup or simply takes care of me. I keep a list of things in my phone of all my favorites and I try to do as many of them as possible until I feel better.

Here are some good examples of what bring me back into alignment;

• reading a great fiction book

• doing puzzles, art, dancing, listening to music

• chatting with friends or family

• talking to my therapist (or journaling )

• getting outside in any form

• movement (yoga, dance, running, walk, swim, kayak)

• take a day off from activities, plans, appointments

• refresh my house - clean, wash my sheets, cook, grocery shop, sweep and mop

• take a shower or bath

• drink water

• yoga and meditate

• light a candle, incense, sage

It is important to note that I absolutely do not do things that are more harm than good. As in, drinking alcohol, binge eating junk food, cigarettes, gossiping, etc. This just perpetuates the issues and is not in any way healing or a good reset.

All of this is so important to keep in mind, especially when mothering. I will write more on how I notice when my kids, home, family are out of alignment. But first, you need to fill up your own cup. It’s the oxygen mask theory; if you don’t put your oxygen mask on first, you cannot help those around you. YOU need to feel good, be in alignment, and be a calm and assertive presence in your own life. Everyone else will naturally follow suit.

Overall, I am so glad that I finally came to a point of awareness of this entire thought process. While I am certainly not perfect, and have plenty of bad days, I truly feel better. I fluctuate less, find more peace in my life, and maintain more balance for myself and my family.

My biggest suggestions: give yourself grace, keep a list of things you love in your phone, and don’t take anything too seriously!